We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
