I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
