ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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