i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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