I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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