i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
