I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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