It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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