he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
