I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
