I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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