My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
