Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
