This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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