the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
