nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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