Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tell your sister to shave her snatch
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
