Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
