If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
