So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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