guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
