is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
