it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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