There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
