OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
