i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just want nice things and good sex
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize