hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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