hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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