Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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