well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
