I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
