Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
