I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
