Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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