Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
