You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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