the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're a waste of cheezeits
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
