just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
