just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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