You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
