at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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