I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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