i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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