So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
