Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
