He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
