apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
