no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
