I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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