And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
