last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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