My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
