the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
