I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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