he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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