idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
