I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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