If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize