Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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