Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
