We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
