That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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