i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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