It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
