the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
